Risking STIs

The incidences of STIs in our country are out of control.  15 - 24 year olds are at the highest risk and by the age of 25, 1 in 2 sexually active persons will have (or have had) an STI.  1 in 2!  That means that half of all sexually active people my age have had an STI!  That is a huge percentage... doesn't anyone else think that's really scary??  I think it's horrifying!  Especially when it's so easy to protect yourself against them.  What can you do - other than the obvious, which would be abstaining from sex - ?? The most obvious are:

• be in a monogamous relationship
• make sure you & your partner both have blood test done before having sex
• use latex condoms - EVERY single time you have sex!
• limit your sexual partners

I know that to a lot of people that seems ridiculously obvious - but so many people simply do not understand the risk or what they can do to prevent it.  Sometimes I hear people say silly things like "Oh I know I'm clean, I've only had sex once.."  Really?!  You can absolutely get an STI the first time you have sex, if it's with an infected person.  I often hear "I almost always use condoms." Again, really?!  How can a person who "almost always" uses a condom not realize the dangerous situation they are putting themselves into?  With half of all sexually active adults having had an STI it is way too risky for someone to "almost always" have protected sex.  Unless you are in a committed monogamous relationship, if you care about your sexual (& physical) health you should always be having protected sex.

Some women that I know think that wearing a condom is the male's responsibility.  Some women would prefer that he wear a condom but don't feel confident enough (or are too embarrassed) to speak up and request that he wear one.  And by request I of course mean demand.  I can only assume it's much more embarrassing to find out you have an STI that you easily could have avoided - especially if it's one that will be with you for the rest of your life and will require you to tell every future sexual partner you have about it.  I think it's so sad that in this day and age women would either a) think that making sure condoms are used is the male's job and/or b) not be confident enough to speak up for what they want (& their health).

First of all, few things annoy me as much as people who are sexually active and unable to talk about sex with their partner or partners.  If you are having sex you should be able to talk about it.  Yeah it can be embarrassing and uncomfortable sometimes, but that's part of it and you should be able to deal with that.  Secondly, women who want to have protected sex, who are not in a relationship with someone who they trust to provide condoms, should carry their own condoms.  There is nothing wrong with a woman keeping condoms in her purse and requiring any partners she has to use them.  Whenever a woman goes out, if there's any chance she might end up hooking up with someone or having a one night stand, she should be prepared to protect herself.

Both women and men should know their risk and know how to protect themselves.  I know that protection is sometimes skipped because people are in the moment - but trust me it's worth the interruption.

gaga, ooh la la

I was recently talking to a class about the sexual nature of most of the music videos they're watching.  We were discussing how most of the current pop and rap songs have the same basic element to their videos.  They often feature one man dancing around large groups of women or a few men with an even larger group of women.  In the majority of these videos the men are almost always in control and it is clear that women are only there for the men's pleasure.  (For one example - out of so many - watch Katy Perry's California Girls video.)  I asked them if there were any videos that they could think of where men outnumbered women.  Or if they could even name a video where the woman was controlling the man or sexually in power.  Immediately someone shouted out "Gaga", which led to everyone calling out the names of different Lady Gaga videos where she was the only woman clearly dominating one man or a lot of men.  I'm sure that there are a lot of videos out there where the woman is in control, however, off the top of my head I can only think of Gaga videos and a few Britney videos.  

The best example I can think of is the Alejandro music video.  She is absolutely in control (what with many of the men being chained and all :) and all of the men are clearly submissive to her.  I know that in some places it is a very sexual video, however, I see videos all of the time that are just as sexual - only sang (or rapped) by men.  So I think it's really interesting that a lot of t.v. stations and websites banned the Alejandro video... but still play equally sexual videos by male performers.  I suppose it could be because of the chains (and some people might see parts of it as sacrilegious)... but I wonder if some of that fallout is because it's shocking to people to see a woman being so sexually aggressive?  Personally I would love to see videos where no one is in "control" or has power over another person.  In a healthy relationship neither partner should have control over the other... and I really think that the youth in our nation are constantly getting the message that "when it comes to sex men should be in charge."  However, since it's clear that music videos and television shows are going to keep portraying that image I love that there is someone out there, like Lady Gaga, showing the opposite.  In my opinion she's showing young women - and even women my age - that females can not only be sexual but that they can also voice what they want and take control of their own sexual needs and desires.  And of course, that message I love.

Disclaimer:

I love pop music & I love Gaga.  

I think she is so sexy & powerful - and I love any music I can dance to!  

I think that the Alejandro video is one of the greatest videos ever... 

however, a lot of people will vehemently disagree.  

If you love Gaga as much as I do and haven't watched it yet, check it out:

Alejandro Video - Lady Gaga