Are you ever really ready to be a parent??

It's confusing to me that I've reached an age and point in my life where no one would be disappointed in me if I found out I was pregnant.  Even more confusing is the fact that people seem to expect me to become pregnant.  The other day someone I work with asked me if I was going to have children soon.  My only thought was "who asks that to someone they barely know??"  She then went on to imply that if I want children I should start trying soon.  Statistically I know that's true.  I know that female fertility begins to drop at age 27 (which I'll be in a few months) and there's a more drastic drop in fertility after age 35.  I'm aware of these drops in fertility... but I also know that they don't happen to all women.  More than that I can't comprehend how anyone could think that it is acceptable to imply that someone else is ready to start a family.  Whenever I go home (to the town I was raised in) there are always a few people who ask me when I'm going to start having babies.  Ugh, how can these people have such a complete lack of social skills?!  Not only do I find it rude to ask someone something so personal, but I think it's ridiculous to assume that everyone wants to have children.

While I know that I'd like children someday I can't imagine the idea of having children now.  I can't imagine anything but sadness for the life I haven't gotten to live.  I have so many things I want to do before I have kids.  I just don't get the whole "baby" thing.  I cannot imagine loving something that much.  Several years ago when a friend of mine was a few months pregnant she said, "it's it crazy that my baby is the size of a peanut and I already love him more than anything else in my life."  I can't imagine what that must be like... does that feeling just automatically occur when you find out you're going to be a parent?  Will there ever be a time when I don't dread having children but actually look forward to it??  If anyone has any thoughts I'd love to hear them.  I spend most of my days teaching people how to avoid unwanted pregnancies... but secretly the idea of a planned pregnancy almost seems just as scary to me!

What is the goal of sex education?

A few weeks ago, before starting our unit on reproduction/ birth control, one of my students asked me "is it okay to reuse a condom?"  When I said no, another student chimed in "have you ever reused a condom??"  Clearly I was horrified.  No not because he asked me a personal question (another teacher I talked to thought that was the problem), but that they would even question whether or not reusing a condom was safe.  After telling this story to some friends, several of them admitted that they had either never realized that condoms shouldn't be reused or that they had actually used the same condom twice in a row.  Horrifying.  These sort of statements make me feel confident that everyone should be receiving sex ed.  It's so confusing to me that most of our television shows contain dozens of sexual references and innuendos, movies have countless sex scenes, the songs that teenagers are listening to are filled with sexual lines - and yet people fight to keep sex education out of schools.  Our children and teens are being bombarded on a daily basis with messages encouraging them to believe that "everyone" is having sex - that sex is fun and risk free.

The main argument I encounter is that "sexual education should be taught at home."  Absolutely- I agree 100%.  Parents need to start a dialogue with their children, about sex, before they start having sex. But lets be honest... it isn't happening.  There are a lot of reasons:

      a) parents naively believe that if they don't talk to their children
           about sex they won't do it (that always makes me laugh :)

      b) they think that if they talk to their children about sex it will
           encourage them to start doing it (wrong again, kids are curious -
           they want to understand how their bodies work, they should  

           understand.)

      c) they are uniformed and simply don't know the right information to
           tell their children (easy to understand - in order to thoroughly
           teach their children they need to understand anatomy and how 

           each part of the reproductive anatomy functions, statistics on
           birth control and STIs, all of the types of birth control out there
           and how each one works... why??  because we know abstinence 

           only doesn't work.)

      d) they are uncomfortable or nervous talking about sex with their
           children (I can only assume it's more uncomfortable to have your
           teen tell you they pregnant or have an STI...)

I simply cannot understand how anyone can think that sex educators are encouraging teens to have sex.  I find that notion appalling... and ridiculous.  I am a huge advocate for postponing sex.  As someone who's only ever had sex with one person I think that postponing sex is one of the healthiest things a person can do.  However, research shows that not teaching teenagers about their options will not keep them from having sex, it will only keep them from having safe sex.  Personally I think that should be a major goal of all parents - for their children to be able to make safe, educated decisions.  Lets face it- most kids aren't learning about sex at home.  Instead they are learning about it from the media - which rarely shows the risk and consequences of sex - and their peers.  

Thankfully my students are lucky enough to have one of the best health education programs in the state.  They get to learn about the benefits and risks of sex - which hopefully will guide them in making healthy choices.  They know the importance of postponing sex.  They know that the incidence of contracting an STI is highest in their age range and they know how to take precautions to keep from becoming a part of that statistic.  (And of course, now they know never to reuse a condom!)  Health education is about teaching students to make healthy, educated decisions that will positively impact the rest of their lives... it is not about teaching them how to have sex.